Realm of Awkwardly Awkward

The cat is obviously oblivious to the strong pulling away feeling that one would naturally encounter when the other is in a position she - in my case - does not want to be in.

After an unwillingly progressive night last night in our friendship - from the needed hand holding while boat hopping to the revealing gesture of the cheek caress, my cheek at that - tonight I have found myself to be in the situation I have been dreading. The one that requires the ever heart breaking friend-speech.

While I have been a recipient of the speech I have never been a giver. I have broke hearts but with the clear intent to break all ties. This time I honestly want to remain friends, good friends if at all possible and I've come to realize now being in their shoes that the givers before me honestly did too.

However, after the cat made his move which was a hug followed by a swift neck to lip kiss, these being the first intimate forms of physical contact we have shared, I'm not entirely sure we will ever be the same. It would explain why I am not currently friends with any of my predecessors.

The Cat Called...

before entering the harbour, before docking, before unloading, before even walking through his front door...

My prediction was wrong. The cat just called to inform me that he's on his way in.

Am I seriously going to be getting the play by plays from the friendly neighbourhood tabby?

Of course I care for his well-being but his actions are those of a significant other in a committed relationship, which is a state of affairs that I am fully unaware we are in.

Will he be terribly disappointed if I'm not outside madly waving to him like a lover eagerly awaiting his arrival? Will his heart drop if I don't run to him arms open wide?

What have I done to make him believe this is what I want? I need to know so I can reverse the charges.

The Wrong Kind of Cat

The rough and tumble Alley cat, the short haired Heinz 57, the sneaky Siamese. I've met a few cats in my day but none quite measured up.

The boys are busy at the fish plant across the street. Trucks of all sizes pulling in, pulling out, reversing, braking, parking. Bianca's Dream will be making her way through the harbour later this evening. Dodging the bergs to dock after 2 days away. He'll unload his catch, get paid, pay his crew and jump in his pick-up. Maybe he'll look my way, see if I'm watching from the window, see if I'm watching for him. He might consider phoning me then, maybe even stop by but ultimately decide to wait until after he's had a good home cooked meal and a shower, only then will he call to let me know he made it home safe.

He's a good cat, no doubt about it. The kind of cat that will sit in your lap for hours purring loudly, kneading gently but plays it safe (would never catch him climbing to the highest branch of a evergreen). He knows when to keep his distance (would never push too hard or pull too close - he may, however, squeeze a little too tight).

Unfortunately, he's the wrong kind of cat for me.

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Net Speak: Hip Amongst the Lazy and/or Stupid

Typing like a complete idiot actually takes effort for me. Maybe I'm just not in the loop or too old for the "cool" kids (never thought I would ever see myself saying that) but I truly do not understand the willingness of today's youngsters (and the not so young but wannabes) to torture and violate the written word.

Case in point: WeLcOmE To Ta DaRk SiDe oF mE. That took much longer than needed to type out. Now, I realize I'm only drawing attention to the said blog but it's absolutely, positively pathetic and honestly, it's one of the milder blogs of its kind. (It only takes 30 minutes to read a single entry whereas some take an hour or more to translate with dictionary in hand).

I do understand the need for short forms in chat or messenger simply to keep up with busy conversation but in forums or places such as Blogger there is no excuse. Personally, when I see a blog written with numbers for letters, alternating capitals, cud rather than could, etc I cringe and immediately stereotype them as lazy.

If a blogger can not take the time to properly type out a post then why should I as a reader take the time to decipher it?

$$$ - The Root of All Evil

It's been awhile since I've felt the tight grip of stress in my chest and stomach. Its fingers curled and ripping. Not a happy feeling but one I am accustomed to, or at least I was back home, especially when it came to financial situations.

I won't bore you with the details of how we came to be in this predicament as it is useless drivel - 6 months that we can not undo or change. I will tell you this; buying a home, accessories (fireplace, sofa, dining set, curtains, gallons upon gallons of paint) and trying to live while on a LOA from our jobs back home on the small amount we received from the sale of our house did not help our cause. Mom's already gone back 2 months earlier than we were expecting.

While I am still employed back home I desperately need to start working ASAP but will not find out for another couple weeks if I got the job I applied for. I have no intentions of returning to Ontario but I'm just not ready to give up that security and alas, become officially unemployed. Mom doesn't go back to work until June 5th and won't see a pay for 2 weeks after that. Bills do not stop, food does not keep and my bank account is not getting any bigger, my friends.

I am trying other avenues but the lack in traffic to this blog is really going to tarnish my chances at a PayPerPost career. Hopefully AGLOCO will pull through.

AGLOCO

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